How to Connect With Your Mother As An Adult

Mothers are our everything growing up, but many unfortunately find the relationship strained in adulthood. Maybe you’ve just gotten so busy with your own family that you’ve lost touch, or perhaps you two always had differences, and not seeing eye-to-eye as an adolescent only caused you to drift further when you become a full-fledged adult. No matter what the reason, wanting to connect with your mom is a wonderful thing, and there are ways you can do it that feels comfortable and natural to the both of you.

Keep in mind that if you’ve been distanced for a while, it might be awkward in the early stages of rebuilding your relationship. Don’t let this deter you; stay open to the idea of building a close bond and don’t shy away from moments of vulnerability. These are the moments that generally bring us closest to others.

Keep on reading to learn four tips to get you started, there is no time like the present, so lets do this!

Call Regularly

At least once a week, pick up the phone and call your mother. Ask her how she’s doing. Get to know her and her life. What are her interests? Does she have any hobbies? How is her work or health at the moment? Sometimes, even adults forget that their parents are whole people. They have lives, personalities, desires and dreams beyond their role as parent. Regular communication is a good way to express that you care and get to know your mother better.

Ask for Her Opinion

You may have had a strict parent who you couldn’t wait to distance yourself from. Or maybe you’ve always been somewhat of a lone wolf and don’t tend to seek out anyone’s advice. But mothers tend to always have something insightful to offer; their wisdom has come from not only their unique life experiences but also their journey raising you. Call or send a text message asking for your mother’s thoughts on a situation. It could be about a problem you have at work or just the color of a piece of furniture you’re considering. Either way, including her in your life will help you both build trust and respect.

Send Flowers

Mother’s Day isn’t the only time of year you should surprise your mom with a bouquet. With a subscription service, you can have flowers delivered straight to her door whenever you want. Holidays and occasions are always a good time to send a floral arrangement, but you can send a bouquet anytime just to let her know you care. She’ll appreciate the thought and love having the flowers around her house. If you live near your mother you can of course opt to deliver the flowers yourself, which will also be greatly appreciated, And if she likes plants, consider flowering plants, or even a planter box or window box that she can enjoy for months, and think of you at the same time!

Spend Time Together One-on-One

Have mom dates where you go out and do something special together at least once a month. Maybe you want to try a new restaurant or visit a museum. Come up with fun ideas together so you can get excited about sharing new experiences together. You might be tempted to bring along the kids, but let your mother know that you want this to be a time for just the two of you. If you live close enough, having weekly breakfast dates and catching up over coffee can be a great way to stay connected.

Of course every relationship has it uniqueness and the some relationships can be complicated, but we certainly don’t want to have regrets about not spending time with a parent, so if you need to swallow your pride a bit, or practice not being sensitive to criticism or unwarranted advice, just do it!

Here’s to healthy family relationships!